The shock and awe of October 1st

Yesterday was our 20 week ultrasound for the babe I'm currently baking. In the past 20 weeks, I have thought about how lovely it would be to have a little girl to round out our family. With 2 little boys, I imagined a third would be a fun little gang....

but a girl...
If i let myself think about it and let my mind wander, I think about the sister that Hope has been wanting for almost 12 years now. I think about the little baby girl I could experience raising with the hubs. Since Hope came to live with us at age 6, it feels like we missed a part of that, even though J had her all the time since she was bitty. I think about the cute little clothes-- at garage sales they are practically new if they are girl clothes, and holey and worn out if boy clothes. I think about the little dresses, the leggings, the bloomers. I almost cry when I think about the pig tails that I used to put on Hope's 6 year old head, and have dreamed about putting on a little 1 year old.

So yes. A boy would be hilarious, a riot, more rough-and-tumble, more sweat and dirt and silly jokes, more secret hide outs and little bowties. I love it all, but I longed to be entrusted with the "other" side of raising a different sort of baby..

and we are.
I could have not be more thrilled. Shocked would be an understatement-- from both J and myself. As we talked about names, I asked him what he thought of a few. I said, "come on, you don't know after 20 weeks?" and he says, "i guess i can start seriously thinking about girl names now.. i just didn't think it would happen before!"

i had the hubs drop me off at the gap and carters outlet after we found out-- he went to pick up some celebration lunch with the boys, and met me back after about a half hour-- I got some cute things for her for next summer.
We are so excited to have her in our family and cannot wait till February to meet her! We love you, Hazel Lynden!

On a different note, Jude had a dentist appointment again today. I have been encouraging the kids to check themselves in at doctors/dentist appointments, and I told him what to say. He walked right up to the desk (with 3 ladies behind it), waited till they stopped talking and looked at him, and said, "Hi, I'm Judah. I have an eight o'clock appointment." They looked at him and just stared and then all started talking at once about how crazy it was that he was able to check himself in-- that he wasn't shy about it. I was so proud of him! He is getting so big and capable of so much! He loves riding his bike and tonight he wanted to ride it down a few steps at a local school. I told him it was ok, and he totally wiped out b/c his bike is so small, when it went down the first step, it got caught on the second. I love his adventurous-- and somewhat cautious (always wear a helmet, mom!)-- spirit!

Ezra is as hilarious as always.. he has been singing old mac donald to himself and although he used to sing it correctly, he now sings, "old mac farm, had a cow...". He is AWESOME on his scooter. I was laughing at him so hard tonight because he was scooting along the sidewalk, and picked up his foot and just coasted for about 2-3 feet and looked like he was so big. He told me the other day for the first time that he loves me without me telling him first. We were laying in bed for naptime and looks at me and says, "I love you mama."

Hope is thrilled to have her sister and doing well. She loves youth group and is wanting more and more freedom. It's scary to have to give up control to her as she gets older, and we probably are more strict than a lot of parents. We just want to keep her our baby! : )